Live From Dialysis, Post #11, Success!

With every morsel of gratitude, with every cell celebrating, I want to tell you: I have a kidney coming!

March 27th is the day. Our dear friend, Katy Mathews, is the donor.

I also want to tell you, I have felt so strange since learning this news.

On one hand, I don’t actually feel capable of expressing my gratitude fully. How could I? Katy is literally giving me her kidney! All I can do is be grateful, do my best to be the best version of myself that I can be…

I also have a somewhat irrational fear that the transplant won’t make me feel better… not based in reality, but my fear nonetheless.

And the other big feeling is that I need to go into hiding again as I go through this and recover… which all feels very animalistic to me, like when your cat goes hiding under the porch or something… so I am going to sign off from this writing thing for a minute until I am through this and feeling better. I just want to share one more experience first.

When I heard the news, I called one of my closest friends in California to let him know. His response was an emphatic, “Yes! Yes!” as if we had just won a game or the lottery. My heart swelled. Then he followed that with “Now I can release all this guilt I have been holding for not giving you my kidney!” And we both laughed.

So take this as a cue for you as well, release any guilt! I just love the honesty of his reaction 🙂

I have been floored by the amount of support received so far through this process. We still do need some further financial support as expenses have piled up and the transplant itself will involve weeks if not months of no work for me… so if you are inspired, the link to our GoFundMe is here (but don’t feel like you have to!).

Again, a deep bow for all of the love. Thank you. See you on the other side!

Ben Fleisher